As many of you may agree, Michael Jordan is considered by many peers, fans, analysts, basketball historians, and even critics as the greatest basketball player of all time. Yet, Jordan’s career field goal percentage over most of his career was .497. That means that Jordan missed more than half-of this shots. That statistic may not seem to match the word “greatest” but the greatest player of all-time missed half of his shots.
Remember about Jordan’s 50% career field goal percentage when your child still doesn’t get an “A” on the math test even after you spent extra money for him to go to tutoring. Remember that when your child doesn’t protect the goal and the opposing team scores a goal.
As I’m typing this I recall the time I was verbally beating my son for not running a fast time in track. Yeah, he was 5 years old! Yeah, at least at the moment, I was “that” dad. One of the team mom’s confronted me and put me in my place with these simple words, “Chill. Remember, he’s just a kid.” It wasn’t one of my finest moments. It was definitely a miss for me. Remember yourself as a child, and even as an adult, of the times you missed the mark.
You can be the parent who focuses only on the 50% of the shots that your child missed or you can be the parent who celebrates the 50% of the shots your child made and encourage him/her to go for more. I think most people, regardless of age, respond better to encouragement and support. Don’t you agree?
Allow me to include some Bible here because I believe we can get big-picture perspective to challenge and encourage us to adust our attitudes and approach to parenting. Psalms 127 records this about God, parents, and children, “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.” Kids are a gift from God. They are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. Hey warrior, which direction are you pointing your children?
I believe in success, but I also believe that the journey to success includes all the misses too. When you parent your child, it is a must that you account for the misses as well as the makes. I always remind myself, “It’s about the process.” The primary focus of your parenting should not be about your children meeting your expectations but about them being taught, trained, and coached into growing up as young people who can be confident about their place in this world and taking on the dream that God has put in their hearts.
So what are your expectations for your children? Is it expectations of them or is it expectations for them? In other words, is it about you or is about them?