Yoda’s Thoughts on Christmas

img_3293“You must unlearn what you have learned.” ~Yoda

Wise words from Pop Yoda. Just like most things, we are heavily influenced by media and the pressure is on to make all the Christmas the best one ever for your family. You have to ask yourself a couple of questions to keep a clear head and a clean heart about this holiday. If getting all the decorations and presents are going to put me in debt, then is it worth it? If all this running around is going to temporarily make me a maniac, then is it worth all the trouble? If this is what you learned to accept to be acceptable, then it’s a good time to start unlearning what you learned.

That “Let-me-show-you-how-it’s-done-son” moment


Any of you old enough to remember the cartoon episodes when Sylvester the Cat would attempt to teach his son the art of bird-catching, yet he would fail every time he tried to catch Tweety Bird? That was me at this skate park 20 years ago trying to teach my son how to skate inside of a bowl. I powered about 6 feet up the side of the bowl on a skateboard when I realized I had no clue what to do next. I tried to bail out and keep my dignity, but my foot planted in the cement on my fall downward and I landed at the bottom of the pool in the splits position. I felt my hip pop and remember limping for a good month.

I think every dad has one of those failed let-me-show-you-how-it’s-done-son moments. At least my son and the kids that were there had a good laugh. If there were cel phone cameras back then, I would’ve been a viral sensation and invited to be on Ellen’s show. Do you remember your “Sylvester” moment?

Looking for my Invisible Child

Apparently, I have an invisible child who goes by the name of “Nahmee.”

Me: “Who’s turn to clean the litter box?”

My visible kids: “Nahmee.”

Me: “Who left the cereal box open?”

My visible kids: “Nahmee.”

I decided that my new quest in life was to find this invisible child of mine. I began doing homework online and searched for answers. Unfortunately, my Google searches for “Nahmee” did not come up with anything substantial I was looking for.

I eventually shared my story with some friends. To my surprise, I discovered a common theme between many of my friends who were parents. Here’s are some of my findings.

  1. The first friend told me that he is on a similar hunt to find his child, “Wununtme.” To this day, he has not physically seen nor heard this child.
  2. One mom said that she not only had one invisible kid. She had invisible twins, and their names were “Idonno” and “Ididndoit.” She also has not had a tangible encounter with this child.
  3. Another friend shared that her invisible kid has a Spanish name, “Yonofui.” Different language, same results. Nothing.
  4. Two older friends told me something strange and thought-provoking. They each had an invisible child who seemingly disappeared when their visible children grew up and out of the house. That could be a great news story if they end up having invisible grandchildren.

I am seeing a common thread that has been woven into each family. These mysterious children are invisible little beings who make messes in the house. Even though the parents have not made these invisible children responsible for any chores, their physically visible brothers and sisters says that they are. I think it’s terribly wrong for my visible children to blame all of the undone chores on the one child, who I haven’t even met. However, if my invisible child doesn’t speak up or show up, I won’t be able to address the messes he or she leaves he behind in the house.

So the quest continues. I can’t wait to finally meet my invisible kid. We have a lot of catching up to do. Until then- Nahmee has a lot of chores to work on.

If you have invisible child and have some insight or maybe have miraculously met your child please comment below.

Coffee Poem

Coffee anyone?
I just need one and I’m done
Started drinking black
But then I got hacked
By sugar and cream
A sweet-tooth’s dream
I’ll do overpriced and try to look hip
But I’m really just fine with regular drip
I’m dragging and this poem is done.
Coffee anyone?

Thanks for dropping by to read. Check out the original poem in the Steller version below. Make it a great weekend!

Quotes by El Gran Queso

The 3 latest quotes from El Gran Queso:

“The only thing you are entitled to is a headlock. “

“I am going to get food truck and sell knuckle sandwiches.”

“The only place it’s ok for a dude to wear tight pants is in the ring.”

Swish!


I get to work with kids as a children’s pastor at the church I have attended for over 20 years. I have accumulated a few stories about little people doing things that make me crack up and shake my head at same time.

While I was doing my churchy duties supervising the children’s department on a Sunday night not too long ago, Little Joel had been happily playing basketball for a while in the Kindergarten classroom until he had the sudden revelation that he had to use the restroom badly.

He did the pee-pee dance in front of his teacher to prove his sincerity and urgency. The teacher was so convinced that she personally escorted him to the restroom with his basketball in hand. However, Joel had nowhere to place his orange sphere that made him so happy just minutes ago.

But inside this tiled, dimly lit, and cold place there happened to be the perfect place to hold his prized object.

Swish! Score!

Read the Steller version here: https://steller.co/s/4dWAXH7wfvG

Wedding Singer Worries

Just an hour earlier the wedding singer zipped through the city like a wedding singer should if he is running late to his gig. He glanced at his to-do list on his phone and was determined to make it to the wedding reception in time. He picked up his suit at the dry cleaners, grabbed a cappuccino 4 blocks further, and bought breath mints & water at the gas station 7 blocks after that. His band greeted him with boos and smart remarks, but they were ready to rock the reception. Their opening set was a smashing success with the wedding guests begging for more. The wedding singer looked out the window overlooking the city, and the sinking feeling overcame him as he noticed his pockets were empty. Where did he leave his phone?

Thanks for reading my latest 1-minute fiction. If you like my content, please write your opinions and thoughts in the comments below. I appreciate your feedback.

The Restroom Swish

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I get to work with kids as a children’s pastor at the church I’ve attended for over 20 years. I have accumulated a few stories about little people doing things that make me crack up and shake my head at same time.

While I was doing my churchy duties supervising the children’s department on a Sunday night not too long ago, Little Joel had been happily playing basketball for a while in the Kindergarten classroom until he had the sudden revelation that he had to use the restroom badly.

He did the pee-pee dance in front of his teacher to prove his sincerity and urgency. The teacher was so convinced that she personally escorted him to the restroom with his basketball in hand. However, Joel had nowhere to place his orange sphere that made him so happy just minutes ago. But inside this tiled, dimly lit, and cold place there happened to be the perfect place to hold his prized object. 

Swish! Score!

Check out my story on Steller too: https://steller.co/s/4dWAXH7wfvG