The Life Equation

A couple of years ago, I injured my shoulder surfing and was not able to surf for several weeks. I continued going to the beach and took photos instead while my body healed. I remembered watching the local high school surf team this day as they shouted, laughed, and scored really great waves during a winter swell. What stood out the most was watching some students stylin’ on cheap foam boards that are sold at the local Costco.

I heard a preacher on the radio say that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. I have heard this saying recycled and re-quoted many times in different forms like, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” but is it not true? Anything “awesome” or “epic” usually depends on how you participated in it. The kids who surfed with the foam boards were carving out waves as good as the other kids who had boards that cost 10 times more.

Times have changed and now people reject sound wisdom and will react with, “What if I don’t like lemonade?” and “Why am I getting lemonade when those people get Arnold Palmer’s?”  The victim card is way overplayed nowadays. It is time to put that card down and take that 10% of crap that has been thrown your way and turn it into fertilizer for the 90%. Grow something. Change something. Overcoming obstacles in life is not easy nor comfortable. Stop wasting energy on leveling the playing field and just play. If all you have is that cheap foam board, then use it and make it awesome. The 90% is yours.

How much should you plan your child’s future?

What should the extent of your role be in shaping your child’s future? I know that debate has always existed about picking your child’s profession and even their eventual spouse. Let me share some biblical perspective in response to my own questions to express what I think should be part of the foundation of your parenting.

I’m just trying to figure out my own life! Don’t they just figure things out? Do I have to actually specifically plan for my children?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” ~Jeremiah 29:11 NLT.

Sounds like a no-brainer. I think most parents have dreams and hopes for their kids even before they are still in the womb. God has specific plans for us. Parents should have actual plans for their children’s future. Part of your own personal plans for your future include plans for your children.

To what extent should I plan?

“Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.” ~Psalm 127:4 NLT.

You have been given the authority by God to choose the direction of your children the same way a warrior points an arrow towards its target. Start by choosing the direction. Even though higher education is changing rapidly nowadays, I am planning for my children to get as much education as possible after high school to give them a number of options in life to find their own career path. 

Where do I point my arrow?

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” ~Proverbs 22:6 NIV.

You decide where to point your arrow. My opinion is to start with God’s way as outlined in the Bible. That may sound too broad or ambiguous, but for those who consistently read the Bible know that the ways of the Lord are very clear and defined. I believe that the words in the Bible are not just mere words and wise sayings. Yes, in a practical sense, the Bible is the manual for living.  More than that, Scriptures are words from the Almighty Himself. His words supernaturally give life to those who find it. Start your children off the way they should go.

What if I choose the wrong direction?

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” ~Proverbs 16:9 NKJV.

The list of decisions you make seem endless. School? Which school? Should I pay for private education? College? And what about dating? When? Sports? Dance? Music? Friends?  You make the plans. Don’t get stuck at every fork in the road. God will shape your decisions when you make them. Are you willing to let Him? Pray. Pray a lot. Pray for your children. Pray with your children. They have desires and talents. It’s your job to find out what those are dreams and gifting are and help guide them with the decisions. Ask them. Watch them. I have twin daughters. Their big brother played soccer for years and was good at it. I thought that it would make sense for my daughters to play soccer too. The girls hated soccer. They lasted one season.  Now one does ballet while the other does MMA. My adult son works in his art department at work designing their web. It started over ten years ago when he asked for an notebook and pencils to draw.

What about the money? How much money?

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” ~ Proverbs 13:22 NKJV.

Lastly, you need financial resources for your children’s future. You’re providing now, but go beyond the current needs. God says to leave and inheritance to your children, and it  should extend to the grandchildren. That requires planning.

I won’t be picking out my children’s spouses nor their career paths, but I can help them get meet their goals.

I appreciate your thoughts and comments below. Happy planning!