The guests were long gone
So they returned one more time
And danced until dawn
Thanks for reading my latest haiku. A word to my younger friends getting or wanting to get married. The emotion of love can take you to the wedding, but it is the act of love that will keep you married. You both have to actually do the “I do” part. That involves a determination and commitment to selflessly give every day whether you “feel” in love or not. If the relationship is one-sided now don’t expect it to change… ever.
Every year, they sit in the same spot he found her 50 years ago. 50 years ago, they talked and smiled as they gazed over the waters and wondered about what could be. Every year, they return to the same spot to sit together. This day, 50 years after he found her at this very spot, they continue to talk and smile as they gaze over the waters.
Old story. New illustration. Thanks for reading. Your feedback is appreciated.
I enjoyed watching my wife bring her floral designs to The Big Fake Wedding this past week. I asked the wedding party to pose with the bouquets and boutonnieres, and after I saw this picture I got to thinking about what happens after the bliss. Let’s face it. Marriage bliss is not 24/7 except for the rare few who reside in some fairy tale. (And even in a fairy tale there is an evil queen/mother-in-law messing things up for the couple.) For some, it is not even 24 minutes out of the 7 days of the week.
Those habits and quirks that were once “cute” become irritations. Gravity mixed with eating over time become bliss killers too. So what is a person to do when the bliss has become more like piss?
Some of us have issues that go way beyond what a blog post can fix, but at least try this one thing to get on the road to a healthier relationship. Take the “i” out of “bliss” and replace it with “e” to make the word “bless.”
Be good to each other. Do good to each other. When you were dating or engaged, I suspect that you went the extra mile for each other. You probably did more kind gestures. You were probably more generous with your time and money. You were very likely more patient and forgiving than you are now. There was never a reason to stop being that way you once were before. I am not saying anything new. If you want your relationship to change then the first thing to change is you.
Give it a try. Give it time. Let me know. Ok, time for comments. Chime in and be heard.
The Big Fake Wedding was a bridal show literally above the Los Angeles skyline. It was organized by wedding vendors for future brides and grooms to experience a “fake” wedding ceremony and reception. Planners, wedding singers, and photographers were among the larger group of vendors in action at the event. It may have been a fake wedding, but the work that went into was real. I experienced that reality firsthand because I assisted my wife, who was the floral designer of this unique event.
Before you see the visual essay, here’s a couple of thoughts about marriage. Most people spend way more time preparing and educating themselves to have a career or pursue a hobby than they would preparing for a marriage relationship that is supposed to last a lifetime. Take the time to prepare beyond the wedding for a life-long marriage. If you are already in a marriage relationship and want it to be better, then take the initiative to invest into your relationship. Isn’t your relationship worth it?
Check out “A Wedding 50 Floors Above L.A.” here https://steller.co/s/5HeAuT8DxSe
99% of relationships aren’t magic moments. It’s what you invest into the 99% that make the magic moments sweeter.
I see this lovely elderly couple almost every time I’m down here at the beach. A few months ago at this spot, I slipped into my wetsuit to surf, but my zipper in the back got stuck. I wasn’t flexible enough to reach my arms behind me to fix it, and the water was too cold to leave my wetsuit open. I walked towards the water looking for someone to help.
By the time I walked from the parking lot to the water, my friends were already surfing, so I saw the man you see in the picture walking along the beach with his wife.
I approached him and asked him to zip up my wetsuit. He quietly nodded with a hidden smile and zipped the suit up to the base of my neck. In his thick Asian accent he told me, “You need-a wife!” We all laughed at that moment, and his wife continued to giggle as they walked away. I watched them for a minute thinking about these kind strangers doing their daily walk together.
It was good to see them walking together this morning, and isn’t that the point of being married? Walking through life together? What does that look like for you?
p.s. Shelley, when you are reading this, I want you to know that I thoroughly enjoy walking this life together with you.
Notes: Shot with iPhone 6+ iOS camera and edited with VSCO E3. The pictorial version is on Steller https://steller.co/s/4k6typ7AVzS